Andys Story

Hello,

I want to tell you about my husband Michael; it’s nice to be able to talk about him, to share a bit of his life with you today.

My Mike was larger than life; he was generous to a fault and would give you his last. He worshiped his children and his grandchildren. He was my knight in shining armor.

Mike getting ill was a huge shock to us both. He was such a big, vital man – so full of life. They’d sent him one of those bowel cancer kits and I’d been nagging at him to do the test. He noticed some bleeding and mentioned he would go to the doctors, but a few days later I put my foot down and told him to make an appointment, right now.

They sent him straight to hospital for lots of tests. When they told him it was bowel cancer, it felt like the end of the world. But Mike wasn’t one to stand by – he wanted to do everything he could, even when it was difficult.

He was quite poorly having chemotherapy when our last grandchild Jacob was born. It was the first time I ever saw him upset; as he was only able to see little Jacob through the window that day.

I truly can’t remember when the Hospice came into our lives because it’s like they were always there. They were wonderful; we’d go in for coffee mornings or a game of bingo, or just chat with all the people we met. Mike got to know everyone so well, he offered lifts or brought people round for dinner. That’s just the kind of person he was.

Kelly, one of the Hospice nurses, would visit Michael at home, sort out his medications and chat through his worries. She became a friend to us both. I was doing my best to look after Michael, to put on a brave face but I was simply exhausted. Kelly said, ‘Why don’t you have a couple of nights respite from our Hospice at Home Team, someone to come in and help?’. It was so wonderful to have someone else there, time for me to get back my strength.

Mike spent so much time in and out of hospital that last year, but he was desperate to come home. We managed to get him back just in time for Christmas. He hadn’t been eating much but on Christmas day he managed some of the ham and mashed potatoes and gravy I’d made.

But after that, the Hospice nurses were coming in more often, making sure he wasn’t in pain. He was where he wanted to be, with me by his side. In the early hours of New Year’s Day, he didn’t wake up again.

I miss Mike desperately. But I want to impress upon you how important the Hospice is – I simply wouldn’t have been able to cope without them.

Today, I’m doing better; I’ve moved closer to my family and I’m going in for bereavement support. It’s just one more way the Hospice is helping me after losing the love of my life. Please support the Hospice this Christmas – and help them to look after families like mine who might need them.

Andy

Pauline’s Story

“Bill was home to me, now he isn’t there it’s not home, it’s just a house. It’s why I enjoy coming to bereavement group as it helps get me out of the house and be with people who know what I’m going through.”

Sat in the Hospice Day Centre Pauline recalls her found memories of Bill her husband and the sixty five very special and varied years they spent together. From Middlesex originally Pauline and Bill moved around a lot during their married life and spent a lot of time in their holiday home in France.

“While living in France me and Bill had a great social life and lots of friends, we would have lots of parties and social gatherings” Pauline fondly recalls.

Sadly in July 2022 Bill was diagnosed with Bladder Cancer and also starting to display early signs of Dementia. Pauline and Bill relocated to Wales and settled in Aberbeeg. Bill was referred to the Hospice in October 2023.

“It was reassuring to have the Hospice there to help look after Bill. I’m pleased he passed away at home peacefully and he wasn’t in any pain. The Hospice team helped make this possible and for that I am very grateful”.

Having been married for sixty five years Bill’s death has left a huge void in Pauline’s life, the Family Support team have provided both practical and emotional support for Pauline, which has helped build her confidence back.

“Bill was home, now he isn’t there it’s not home, it’s just a house. It’s why I enjoy coming to bereavement group as it helps get me out of the house and be with people who know what I’m going through. We drink tea, eat biscuits and provide support for each other. With the first anniversary of Bill passing away coming up in November I know it’s going to be grim, but coming to group will help as the others will recognise how I’m feeling and help me through it”.

“I don’t know what Christmas will bring but Bill wouldn’t want me to be miserable, we went away for Christmas in 2022 up to Scotland, it was the last holiday we had together. I have to remember all the good times and memories we shared together, and I will always be grateful for the support the Hospice provided to Bill and continues to provide for me”

Pauline

Raymond’s lasting gift

“He wanted to say thank you and also help the Hospice keep going in the future”

Raymond left a gift of £2,000 to the Hospice in his Will when he passed away in March 2023, because he wanted to give something back following the care and support given to his late partner, Amy, when she had bowel cancer.

Raymond’s grand-daughter Helen states:

“I’m glad that Raymond left a gift to the Hospice in his will as I know how grateful he was for the way they looked after my grandmother Amy over sixteen years ago. He wanted to say thank you and also help the Hospice keep going in the future”

Lisa’s Story

“It’s important to have the opportunity to remember our loved ones, it is comforting for me”

Lisa Bevan will be supporting the Sunflower celebration and remembering both her mum Glenys and dad Patrick, who were both cared for by the Hospice.

Lisa was the main carer for both her mum and dad for many years and reflects on the support the Hospice provided for her family at a time when they needed it the most.

“The support of the Hospice gave mam the confidence and reassurance that she could stay at home where she wanted to be at the end of her life and also helped ease my stress and worry, knowing they were always on the end of the phone when I needed them”.

The Hospice were first involved with Lisa’s parents back in 2018 when Patrick her dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. “Someone from the Hospice would call every week to keep an eye on dad and also see how mum was coping as she also had heart failure” Lisa recalls.

Sadly after Patrick passed away in October 2018, Glenys’ condition also deteriorated and in September 2021 she had a heart attack. “Mam was my best friend and I always said I would look after her until the very end, the Hospice helped me do this. In the last week of mam’s life I couldn’t have done it on my own, the Hospice were amazing”.

After Glenys passed at home on 19^th December 2021, Lisa found it very hard as she had spent so many years caring for both her parents and now she was left with a massive void in her life. Lisa accessed bereavement support from our Social Worker. “Jill was a massive support, I could just sit and cry and she would listen, it really helped release some of my pain”.

Kays Story

“The hospice looked after my Mam and my sister as if they were their own family. Their care is simply incredible.”

Mam had dementia – and was going downhill during the pandemic. The hospice started to come out and visit her; the amazing Gemma would go once a week and do Mam’s hair, her nails, make her some lunch. Mam loved it – she was all “Gemma did this” and “Gemma did that“ when my sister Lyn and I went round to see her! When Mam got much worse the hospice helped us to find a nursing home. Even then, the hospice staff would pop round and visit – and talk to her through the window, because of all the restrictions. After Mam passed we went to tend her grave – and found beautiful fresh flowers and a note from the staff there.

Mam died last summer – and then, just as we were getting over that – Lyn was diagnosed with lung cancer. She had chemotherapy, which seemed to work at first – but the cancer came back. The worst thing for Lyn was her breathing, she really struggled. So, Kim at the hospice (probably the most wonderful woman I’ve ever met) organised oxygen to go into Lyn’s house. They got her into the hospice each week and gave her lots of lovely treatments to ease Lyn’s condition – aromatherapy, reflexology and massage.

Lyn had to stop work, so the hospice team helped her to apply for the benefits and support she was entitled to, they filled in every form for her. At the end, Lyn went into YAB – and Emma from the hospice went in and made sure she was comfortable, right up to the end.

The hospice helped Lyn to understand and come to terms with the fact that she was at the end of her life. Thanks to them, I was able to have a conversation with her about her wishes after her death. Lyn lived in Spain for many years, her husband is buried out there. Lyn asked for her ashes to be scattered over there – and so we’ll be going out there this autumn.

I know the hospice holds their Light up a Life service each year. Lyn’s birthday was at the end of November – and I don’t honestly know if I’ll be able to go, it’s still so close. But I do know that I’ll never forget what Hospice of the Valleys has done for me and my family these last three years, how lucky we are to have this charity looking after us. I really hope you’ll support them, so they can look after others as wonderfully as they looked after Mam and Lyn. Thank you.

Kay

Candour Talent

“At Candour Talent, we take pride in our partnership with Hospice of the Valleys. By supporting their incredible organization as our Charity of the Year, we have experienced numerous benefits that align perfectly with our values. Our collaboration has provided us with increased visibility in the community and our brand becomes synonymous with compassion and social responsibility as we actively support the hospice’s fundraising campaigns and initiatives. Through our partnership, we have the privilege of bringing about significant change and impact in the community. By supporting the hospice’s mission to provide vital care to patients and families, we are making a tangible difference in people’s lives. This shared goal has boosted morale among our employees and encouraged team building activities, as we work together towards a common purpose. By aligning ourselves with such an esteemed organisation, we enhance our own reputation as a socially conscious and community-driven recruitment specialist. Together Candour Talent and Hospice of the Valleys are making a lasting difference in the lives of individuals and families in our community.”

Tricia Scott, Operations Director, Candour Talent

Candour Talent – What they did!

• Team Volunteering/Team Building Day by painting our Ebbw Vale Shop.
• Organized a Fire Walk for the staff to fundraise for the Hospice.
• Supported by entering our Golf Days and hole sponsorship.
• Organized a stock donation day.
• Continuing to support us a Charity Partner of the Year.
• Supported our Go Yellow and 12 Ways of Christmas Campaigns.
• Supported our Summer Raffle.

Kerry and Natalie’s story

Natalie’s Mam Kerry was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2017 and was doing well until the cancer returned in her spine and liver. This is when the Hospice became more involved in her care and also continued to support the family after Kerry sadly passed away in September 2022.

“Mam found it hugely beneficial and reassuring to have the support of the Hospice nurse, she was able to answer all her questions. The difference the Hospice made is that they were able to offer reassurance and breakdown what was happening to Mam. It was a very difficult time, especially the final few days when she came home to die and we were still in shock, but having the Hospice checking in everyday was so important to us all” Natalie recalls.

Following Kerry’s death Natalie attended 1-2-1 bereavement and group sessions at the Hospice, “Going to the group and speaking to others who were going through a similar experience was so beneficial. After Mam died I felt I had to do everything, but I learned it was ok to slow down”.

“It was so important to our family having the support of the Hospice, they were able to break things down and allow us to understand what was happening. I would say to anyone, please support the Hospice with purchasing raffle tickets, you would hope never to need their services but are so grateful for them in a time of need, just like my Mam and our family”.

With every ticket you buy or sell, you will be helping us to continue being there to support patients like Kerry and her daughter Natalie, now and in the future.

Your generosity will enable us to continue being there, making sure anyone with a life-limiting illness across Blaenau Gwent has access to the best possible care and support, wherever and whenever they need it. Allowing them to spend quality time with their loved ones, making precious memories.